Coupling
by Lonestarr
Summary: One of the keys to a successful marriage is keeping an open mind.


Disclaimer: "The Replacements" is owned by Dan Santat and Disney. The inspiration for this story comes from one of my new favorite episodes, "A Buzzwork Orange".

The night was clear; a cool breeze had been forecasted in Pleasant Hills. The stars twinkled in the sky high above the Daring household.

Todd tossed and turned in his bed, his memory of how he framed Buzz re-playing in his head again and again. Like so many of the problems that he faced in life (and most of them were from his own doing), Todd hoped to ignore it, hoping it would go away. However, given the groans that escaped him, ignoring the problem proved futile.

By comparison, Riley slept like a baby in her bed. In the last few weeks, she had tossed and turned more than her brother. Her boyfriend, Johnny Hitswell, broke up with her because of her suspicions about the crowd of models he'd been asked to join. For Riley, it was hard to gage what was more galling: the loss of her relationship or that she allowed herself to get played by class witch Sierra, who planted the seeds of doubt in her mind. Given the peaceful expression on her face, Riley seemed to have moved on.

K stood admiring herself in the bathroom's full mirror, the navy blue nightie hugging her well-toned body in all the right places. She raised her hands and placed them behind her head, unconsciously thrusting out her breasts.

She then hefted her C-cup breasts in her dainty hands. The look on her face was akin to a child finding out that Christmas would be celebrated every day of the year.

She turned around and took a good look at her butt, which, if possible, looked even better than in her catsuit. Taking attention away from her front, she grabbed her butt cheeks. K giggled like a schoolgirl and bit down on her bottom lip. This felt so good. She wanted to stay in there forev--

"Dick, will you be coming to bed anytime soon?", replied a low-toned, British-sounding male voice.

"Dick" gasped suddenly. He…perhaps it would be better to explain how the two of them ended up in this fix: while cleaning the safe room, Dick and K were caught in the crossfire of a machine's ray, and before one could say 'freakin' Friday', the two of them ended up in each other's bodies. They opted to keep this a secret from their loved ones; who knows how they would react?

In any event, he merely told K that he would be in the bathroom washing up. This was forty-five minutes ago.

K, in Dick's body, sat in bed perusing a romance novel. "You'd better not be doing anything with my body in there!" She glanced toward the bathroom door.

"_But K…I'm in a bathroom, and certain things--"_

"Dick!"

The door opened. Dick stood in the frame, a huge pout on his face. It made him look very attractive.

"It was only going to be five more minutes."

K exhaled. "Come to bed, dear."

Dick sashayed toward the empty space on the mattress and crawled in. The day hadn't been an easy one. In addition to the expected…'woman problems', he had craved a hearty lunch, but K was watching him like a hawk. She would not let her body go to waste; certainly not after all she had done over the years to keep it in shape.

K put down her book and removed her reading glasses. Dick's body hadn't needed glasses, but some habits were hard to break. She leaned over to her husband and had unconsciously prepared to kiss him. She stopped cold and turned away from him.

"What's the matter, K? You aren't gonna kiss me goodnight?"

K glanced at Dick. A shocked look slowly grew on her face. "And you don't think anything of being kissed by…yourself?"

Dick shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. It would be a little weird, but I guess it shouldn't matter, as long as we love each other."

"And suppose we were more amorous than that in this condition? That wouldn't bother you?"

"K, I might fall from a tall building, or roll a brand new car. I can walk away from stuff like that, but the one part of a stuntman that can't heal so easily is his heart."

K goggled her eyes. She never realized how soulful Dick could be, even if she was sure she recognized the first part of what he said.

"If that did happen…I mean, the both of us risk our lives on a daily basis. I think it would be an amazing experience."

"Honestly?"

Dick nodded. "After all, life without risk is death."

"An old stuntman's creed?"

"Nah. He was fresh out of college when he said that."

K weighed the possibilities in her head. Sure, she had been intimate with Dick a few times before, but that was when she was in her body and he was in his. Still…an opportunity like this would likely never present itself again.

K turned over and kissed Dick on the cheek. "Good night, dear."

Dick sighed. "'night, K." He pulled the covers over his body, loving how delicate his form was.

The couple slept peacefully for about an hour. K had clearly been considering the prospect of being 'more amorous', given the bulge in her pajama bottoms. She lightly nudged Dick, who murmured at the contact.

"Dick!" K suddenly sat up in bed.

"What is it?", he replied sleepily.

"Well…" K looked quite nervous as she motioned toward her crotch. "It's…how do men deal with this?!"

Dick bit his lip. There were several answers to this question, all of which would likely end in an icy glare or an act of violence.

"Oh, don't worry, honey. This usually happens at night…and first thing in the morning, and during certain commercials…" He leaned over, which allowed K to catch a glimpse of her own lovely cleavage. She groaned. That glance clearly did not make things better.

"Dick, would you mind covering up?" K sharply turned away.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Why would I--" He glanced down. "Oh." He laughed nervously as he folded his arms across his chest. "Sorry." Dick took another glance downward. "How do women deal with these?"

"First of all, we don't stare at them at all hours of the day."

Dick hefted them in his hands and let them drop. He repeated the motion, until he felt a large hand grasp his dainty wrist.

"And second, we don't fondle them!", K growled in a hushed yell. The last thing she wanted was Todd and Riley seeing them in this position.

Without a word, Dick raised his free hand toward his chest, cupping it for effect.

K narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare."

Dick flexed his fingers in a groping motion.

"Six months."

Raising an eyebrow, Dick dropped his hand. "'Six months', what?"

"Touch them again. When we switch back, you aren't allowed to touch me for six months."

"But, K--"

"Do I hear a year?"

Dick sighed. "Okay."

K withdrew her hand. Dick goggled his eyes. "Oooh."

"What?"

He looked down at his chest. "You grazed me…you…your nipple."

K's mouth hung open. "I did not! And if I did - this isn't an admission - it would be an accident. Nothing more."

Dick smiled. "You _are_ curious."

"I beg your pardon?"

"About sex like this. The thought has crossed your mind."

K narrowed her eyes. "Are you out of yours?"

"It's just a thought. I mean, if you're scared--"

With the exception of stage fright, K had very little fears, and the notion of being scared of having inter-gender intercourse was laughable to her. She took Dick by the hands. "I'm not scared if you're not scared."

"Is that a yes?"

K leaned over and opened the top drawer of the nightstand. She rifled through until pulling out what she was looking for: a condom.

Dick's eyes widened. Without taking her eyes off of her husband (who, in a perverse way, looked quite fetching in her body), K ripped the wrapper open with her teeth.

"Wow." Dick looked on in shock (and a little bit of awe) as K applied the prophylactic. 'She's really going all the way with this', he thought to himself.

"Dick, aren't you going to get ready?"

"Oh!" He nodded and removed the lacy underwear. There was nothing to get in the way.

Dick let out a slight 'ooooh!' of surprise as K entered him. The two gazed into each other's eyes. Even though they could never have predicted ending up in a situation like this, they wouldn't have traded it for the world.

"So…", K started. "Should I get moving?"

"That's not a bad idea. I'd hate to think we went all this way for nothing."

K started rocking back and forth. That it felt weird taking the lead during sex went without saying, but doing so in Dick's body…this was a whole new level of weirdness.

Below her, Dick was taken aback by the sensations he felt. Even though it wasn't something he'd go around advertising, he was enjoying himself. K's movement increased his pleasure the faster she went.

Dick grabbed K by the shoulders. K continued to thrust, grunting with each pump. Dick started to squeak in time with the thrusts.

His eyes fluttered, his squeaks turning to squeals. He wrapped his legs as best as he could around his wife's meaty back. "K?"

"What is…it?" K practically choked out the last word. Dick could see it in her eyes. He knew what was coming.

Dick squealed loudly in delight. If Todd and Riley weren't such sound sleepers, he'd have been worried about such an enthusiastic response. K let out a loud grunt and panted as she collapsed on her husband.

She rolled onto her back. "Oh…my."

"That was…something." Dick wore a bemused smile on his face.

"We certainly can't tell anyone about this, least of all the children."

"Yeah. They probably wouldn't believe us, or get sick if they did."

K chortled a little. "And just think of how C.A.R. would react. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Yeah." Dick cleared his throat. "'K, what were you thinking?!'" Given that his voice was feminized and unaccented, he still offered a pretty decent impression of K's compatriot.

"'I can't even look you in the eyes, anymore.'"

Dick turned on his side and glanced at K. "You know? It's kind of nice."

"What?"

"Having these little chats. You're off on your missions and I'm preparing a stunt. We hardly have any time for ourselves."

"Well, it seems to me that we ought to _make_ time in the future."

Dick stretched out. "Sounds wonderful."

K lied back in bed. "Dick?"

"Yeah, K?"

K leaned over and kissed Dick's ear. A smile tugged at her rugged features. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

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A/N: As I mentioned, I was inspired by "A Buzzwork Orange". While I like the show, it was nice to find an episode free of mean-spiritedness, stupidity and - most refreshingly - Grey Delisle thinking that she's voicing Vicky (of "Fairly Oddparents") instead of Riley.

While I loved the main plot, the subplot tickled my fancy (as anyone who follows my work can attest). In terms of body-switch episodes, I liked that Daran Norris and Kath Soucie bothered to mimic the other character's speech patterns rather than taking the lazy-- sorry, easy way out and just switching the character's voices.

This story may seem a little deviant, but remember rule 34.

Thanks for reading and reviewing and have a nice day.


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